I think finally at this time of my life I feel like i’ve figured out what the heck i’m doing.

In terms of my career, my friends, my love life, family, living arrangements and the near future I feel like I know what I’m doing. At the moment I no longer feel like I have no control over my life. For such a long time I think I felt like I was hanging on the edge of a cliff, unsure of whether I’d fall off or be able to save myself. I think especially the last two years (which was my two years of nursing) I was so so scared that after all of my years of study (while it was great, felt like I wasted so much precious time) that I wouldn’t be able to secure employment.

It was suchhhh a wave of relief to find that offer of employment in my email that day. Words honestly could not describe how ecstatic and excited and happy I felt that day. It might sound like I’m exaggerating but that was the best day of my life.

Anyway, because I hadn’t updated my blog here for so long I just wanted to type everything out about how I’m feeling and coping so far this year. It feels like New Years was two weeks ago and that my travels to New York were 2 days ago but its already the middle of February!

I went to New York for two weeks in January and I couldn’t have asked for a better holidays. Jono and I loved exploring the city, we met a cool group of people, reunited with another group and ate and drank alot. Unfortunately the exchanging of money was a let down because $1 AUD was only equivalent to 70cents but we made the most of the trip seeing as I was about to start a new job and wanted to just relax.

I havn’t transfered any photos from my camera yet but I really want to start sorting out my photos to get them printed and put into photo albums! Hopefully I’ll upload a couple soon so that I can put them on my blog

I’ve started my nursing job this year as well and that has so far been an immense learning curve. I havn’t had too many days on the ward yet working as an independant Registered Nurse but its only the beginning of my career and I have so many things to learn before I become confident. I do enjoy this job alot more than my teaching job as I feel more confidant in this job that teaching. With teaching I was always scared about whether I was doing things or saying things correctly and worrying about if my activities would be too difficult for some children or if it was too easy for them. I’d spend most of my time just trying to get children to pay attention to me that I just felt so exhausted. I didn’t feel like I was making much of a connection with the children I was teaching and felt like I wasn’t really making a difference.

In nursing I feel like it’s easier for me to build a professional relationship and develop rapport with the patients I’m looking after. I’m able to talk to them and discuss their care and am able to collaborate with other nurses in order to complete tasks and to maintain patient safety. I feel like the location I’m currently working as well is very supportive and the new graduate nurse program manager is very encouraging.

I’m slightly dreading the night shifts I’ll be doing soon but we will see how it goes once it comes! Theres no use in me worrying about things that I have no control over yet (i am a CONSTANT worrier. I worry non stop.. all the time.. about the silliest of things and I think thats why I dont manage to get enough sleep sometimes) so I will just take everyday as it comes!

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